Is this how it is now?
People who judge others based on a single Facebook status? Yes, this is a rant post inspired by this person to use my few brain cells and take advantage of the knowledge that he has given to me. Goodness, the honor right?
You’ll probably think like, ahh, he’s just some random sad guy. Just ignore him or you’re thinking I am so childish. Okay but to be honest, I don’t know what you’re thinking! Whatever that rocks your boat, I guess!
Anyway, so what happened was that:
One fateful morning on the 12th of December, 2012…….
Lol, you can just read what I wrote on my status. Yepp, that’s what happened that fateful morning. So because of all that, I used Facebook as my avenue to rant (whine) about what’s happened. Uh-huh. I don’t see a problem in that – I always do that! Hurhurhur.
But I guess this person had a problem with it
*rolls eyes literally while I’m typing*
And he took it so seriously – like whut? Not sure why, but let’s not judge shall we? Then he wrote this really long feedback to my awesome rant as you can see. Usually I would just ignore it, but since he took it so seriously then I shall too.
First, I thought to myself:
Golly, Why did you say that?
1. You don’t know me enough on a personal level to say that about me
That’s the bad thing about Facebook friends that you don’t know! Based on our mutual friends though, I would assume he is a gamer – one of the many that I have. Most likely might have played Dota with him like years ago or something, but honestly, I don’t recall.
2. You can’t just judge me based on that one status
Oh so you’re implying I’m a fluffy airhead with no brain cells (Yes I’m exaggerating). Oh wait, you said I have a few.
No I don’t, I have at least 1 million glial cells = 100 billion neurons!
3. I do have dreams and you know what? I am chasing one of them right now
You can read about it here: The Dream
4. “But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter …blahblah”
It really does sound as if he is speaking from experience huh? Well, I’m sorry that this person feels that he is missing the things that really matter due the the daily grind. But that doesn’t apply to me. And I thank him from sharing that with me, it’s rather insightful
5. “Am I on the right track here?”
Are you kidding me? I know where I am in life right now, I’m not so sure about him. I’ve achieved many things in life including obtaining my degree and starting on my career while at the same time, chasing after my dream. It may not seem much, but yes, I am on the right track. I don’t see how my rant/whine on Facebook has anything to do with that.
6. I really don’t see why he pities me
Honestly. Well, I say vice versa!
Facebook gives us the freedom of speech to write what we like on our own personal page. Just as I have the right to whine or rant about stupid stuff like what happened this morning, he too, has the freedom of speech to write his opinion about well..what I wrote.
But that doesn’t mean I have to like it
Plus yes, anyone may have the freedom or liberty to write their opinions but seriously, some opinions or judgement are better kept to yourself especially if they are of the negative types. I’ve learnt it the hard way.
Oh and if I were a few years younger, this post would have been peppered with like a zillion F words and I would have deleted his comment and un-Friended him on Facebook. That’s even more childish right?
Before I forget, I just have to say..I’m not sure if this person is a HIM or HER, but based on the person’s profile picture, I would ASSUME it is a HIM.
*Replace the male icon with his picture (just imagine)
But anyway, let’s put all the judgement crap and self assumptions aside because honestly, it’s really not nice to do so – to judge people/assume stuff about people that is. Unfortunately, we all do that subconsciously whether we like it or not as it’s in our nature.
So to start off:
I apologize for everything bad I have said or assumed about him
That’s pretty mean-spirited of me to think so negatively just because I was feeling miffed at his judgement of me.
But I just have to say that it may be in our very nature to be judgmental, but as mentioned, it is not a useful life skill to have and it paints you in a bad light especially when you voice it out.
Let’s just think about it:
We see someone, and based on their looks or actions, we pass judgment on them. Not good judgment, either. Usually without even knowing the person. And that’s it — that’s usually the extent of our interaction with that person. We don’t make an effort to get to know the person, or understand them, or see whether our judgment was right or not.
And reading more from Leo Babauta’s zenhabit’s blog, I learnt about the DUAL method to avoid being judgmental.
1. Don’t pass judgment.
If you find yourself being judgmental, stop yourself. This takes a greater awareness than we usually have, so the first step (and an important one) is to observe your thoughts for a few days, trying to notice when you’re being judgmental. This can be a difficult step. Remind yourself to observe.
Once you’re more aware, you can then stop yourself when you feel yourself being judgmental. Then move to the next step.
Instead of judging someone for what he’s done or how he looks, try instead to understand the person. Put yourself in their shoes. Try to imagine their background. If possible, talk to them. Find out their backstory. Everyone has one. If not, try to imagine the circumstances that might have led to the person acting or looking like they do.
Once you begin to understand, or at least think you kind of understand, try to accept. Accept that person for who he is, without trying to change him. Accept that he will act the way he does, without wanting him to change. The world is what it is, and as much as you try, you can only change a little bit of it. It will continue to be as it is long after you’re gone. Accept that, because otherwise, you’re in for a world of frustration.
Once you’ve accepted someone for who he is, try to love him. Even if you don’t know him. Even if you’ve hated him in the past. Love him as a brother, or love her as a sister, no matter who they are, old or young, light skinned or dark, male or female, rich or poor.
What good will loving someone do? Your love will likely only be limited. But it could have an affect on two people: yourself, and possibly on the person you’ve found love for. Loving others will serve to make yourself happier. Trust me on this one. And loving others can change the lives of others, if you choose to express that love and take action on it. I can’t guarantee what will happen, but it can be life-changing.
I really think that was a fantastic post to read and learn about how we can learn not to be so judgmental. This however, is easier said than done, but I’m going to try it. One step at a time.
If that person is actually reading my blog post, I really do hope that this additional knowledge will prove useful to you. You should try it too.
Life will be so much more happier this way, don’t you think so?(:
4 Comments on “Judgmental Crap”
salutations from across the sea. informative post I shall return for more.