I was reading an article featuring Joel Neoh (founder of Fave/Groupon Malaysia) on First Classe Malaysia (thanks to Natalie, having met her at the Borneo Fashion Week media event and no – this is not a paid plug or plug in any way) and it was a really inspirational piece with good writing to boot.
“I think when I was young, the same with a lot of other people, there are certain things we like but have others make the decision for us to do something else,” he tells. “We may be doing things that we’re not passionate about and we don’t even realise it. Maybe a teacher, your family, your siblings or someone told you to do these things. But if you take a step back, who we are and what we like to do may not necessarily be what we’re doing today, or what we think we genuinely like.”
“If we were all more honest about how we felt about what we like, we can be a lot greater at what we do.”
– Joel Neoh
After reading and of course, sharing those inspirational sentences said by Joel, I heaved a deep sigh and then thought to myself – “What is success?” / “What does success mean to me? / “Is that what I really want to endeavor myself to become?” and all the introspective self questioning “new age-y” stuff.
I mean, we always read all of these news articles on successful people; especially entrepreneurs who have made it through grit, determination and hard work especially on social media (an example of social media being a double edged sword) and they always seem to have these inspirational words that are supposed to propel you to want to emulate and become like them because you start thinking to yourself – What about me? What have I done in my life so far? Okay, it’s time for me to step up my game. Etc, etc.
I realize this is what happens when you start comparing their lives to yours for these people seem to have made ‘it’; whatever that definition of “it” may be (or net worth) instead of being content/happy with your current lot in life. That’s what I think la, my perspective.
I then looked at my mom sitting across me at the table eating the pandan snowskin mooncakes that Leon (one of my FA turned friend) gifted to me as a client and this domestic bliss is actually very satisfying for me. I am content and thankful for this moment. The snowskin mooncakes were delicious too, I enjoyed them very much(:
In fact, all thoughts of being as wildly successful and/or famous like Joel or any of the famous entrepreneurs (yo, Jack Ma) kinda just flew out of my mind tbh. Indeed, sometimes – you already have everything you need like what Mark Manson and Lea McKnoulty said/wrote.
You know – if I had a wish then, I only wish that her health will continuously remain to be in the green light especially at her age now and that we can sit like this more often and forever.
Especially after sitting in with my mom’s conversation with the Pioneer Generation ambassadors who came over on Tuesday, you get to know more about her health conditions and it can be scary to face up to the reality of aging / old age. I usually tend to try to deviate from thinking about such topics as much as I can, but the reality can be quite brutal and harsh. Actual life is not always all butterflies, birds and bees no matter how much you try to portray it to be especially on social media.
Only show the good stuff right?(:
And sure, here I am seemingly to enjoy my life at this moment (though yes, in all due honesty, I really am, most of the time that is) during my adult gap year, but always at the back of my mind is the reality of my situation and circumstances – be it financially, family and generally my lot in life.
I’ve usually played it up by calling it an adult gap year, mini retirement, leap of faith and all the lighter terms used. But perhaps what I have been doing all this while is essentially just running away from my responsibilities, my life and adulting in general – my little rebellious act of defiance against life of which I’ve kinda been doing it for almost half a year at this point of writing already.
Gee, it’s really scary to think about it from that perspective actually 😅 And lol, the above gif made me laugh in all honesty. HAHHAHAA.
Honestly though, sometimes I feel so very lost; having lost one of my main anchors in life back last year.
Having said that, how that feels is this – as if you are the Captain of your own little boat that has been docked and anchored at the ports your whole life just happily bobbing up and down. Then having lost that anchor, you have a choice of aimlessly and stagnantly staying by the port and wait for the waves to wash you out into the sea, OR you set yourself adrift and get yourself lost into life’s billowing oceans and seas by your own choice – becoming like a drifter/explorer/adventurer. Obviously, I chose the latter cos it’s more fun in a way lol.
Sometimes, the sea is calm and you can navigate or drift through it easily and happily; but sometimes the waves come at you and you gotta learn how to get through them by riding the waves without your boat being crushed under the crashing waves of the sea. You gotta do it tho, lest you drown and I refuse to go down without a fight.
Have courage, be brave and don’t waver.
Most importantly, I’m learning to (hopefully) become my own anchor and I will choose to drop anchor and dock at the port of my own choosing (for rest, or for life) if needed be.
Indeed, I know not of my final destination port of where my boat will stop at or where I want to drop anchor (or if my circumstances will force me to conjure one somehow) but since I have already set myself on this drifting wandering journey/path – what I can do now really, is just to try my best and that to me, I guess is more than enough.
Lol, tbh this is random I’m not sure what pushed me to write my post this way but these words just flowed out of me and I just let it. In fact, usually when these words bubble up within me, I HAVE to grab my laptop, start it up and let it rip. The feeling is so strong and I can’t stop the urge to write.
But I’m done for now – here’s other mundane life stuff for the day.
My usual caifan lunch.
Writing, and reading as always.
Went for my usual night walk.
More writing, replying emails and such!
Published a new reading on my Mitsueki’s Podcast on Anchor!
Also published an article on my very dead Medium page (a repost actually).
Regardless, it was a good day all in all and I’m content(:
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend ahead!(:
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